Hi Johnnie,
I understand and share your dilemma. We've camped in locations (typically privately owned RV parks) where the campsites really are too close together to allow camp fires, and yet there is the fire pit. Most State and national camp grounds are better because of the greater distance between campsites. Both my wife and I enjoy a campfire smoke from a distance, and will occasionally build our own... yes, having a fire can be a part of the camping experience, but both of hate having a neighbor build a smokey one right next to us (as in 10 feet away). Like Rich, we tend to be too polite to tell people to extinguish (unless the camper has clearly created a dangerous situation).
We avoid the situation as much as possible by going to campgrounds that have greater space between sites, or camping where fires are not permitted except in specified areas (those usually being in fire circles away from campsites).
This past summer we camped at a private RV Camp on the Lake Huron shore just east of Mackinaw City, MI. The camp did not permit fires in the campsites, but compensated by their quick willingness to set up a portable fire pit down by the water and even provide wood! The experience was much better than a campsite fire... Watching the sun set behind the Mackinaw Bridge, while enjoying a warm fire, and watching the lights from Mackinaw Island dance across the Strait was an experience I'll never forget!
Hopefully, if any of our HTF members weren't aware that not all of us enjoy camping on top of their fires, they will hence be more sensitive about where they make a fire and what they burn.
Jim