Cheryl,
It is one thing to get your Dakota and trailer rolling, which have all been discussed by previous posters ... the discussion about axle ratio, engine HP, supplemental transmission coolers, etc all having an effect on the towing limit of your Dodge.
It is another concern as to how you will get it stopped, not many people address the stopping issue! The condition of your Dakota brakes and pads as well as the total sweep area of those brakes will impact your stopping ability ... the same goes for the trailer brakes ... and the type of brake controler you use will also have an affect on your stopping ability. When you have an additional 3,800 lbs pushing you want functioning brakes on the trailer as well as your Dakota.
I would recommend you seek the advice of your local Dodge dealer mechanic and also a RV repair center and ask your questions of these experts who make a living servicing these vehicles. As you have discovered everyone has an opinion and often they differ, so ask an expert ... it could save you a lot of money in the future.
Thank you for the great advice, John. I got nowhere when I tried the Dodge dealer. I couldn't get a mechanic on the phone and could only speak with a service advisor. I am going to call an RV repair shop though. That is a great idea. I will also try callling the manufacturer and I will see if I can find out why their website is giving me a different tow limit than my owner's manual.
In case anyone is curious, I will post back my findings.
Thanks again,
Cheryl